Monday, January 30, 2012

Building Characters - Love Language

Jeff Gerke's book  Plot vs. Character contains excellent information on character building, and today I'm covering one of my favorite topics in the book. Gary Chapman developed a theory of communication called the five love languages. Jeff puts it like this: "The theory is that, like gifts and talents, each of us is born with a tendency to express and receive love in a certain way--in a love language--but that not all of us speak the same language."

The five love languages are:

1. Word of Affirmation: these people say I Love You with words. "I love you," "I appreciate you," "Thank you," all express that they notice you and you are valuable to them.

2. Quality Time: these people say I Love You by giving you their undivided attention, by sitting with you and being there for you, but putting off everything else to spend time with you.

3. Gifting: these people say I Love You by giving thoughtful items. Purchased, hand-made, recycled, doesn't matter - giving of gifts expresses their affections.

4. Acts of Service: these people say I Love You by cleaning your clothes and fixing your computer and mowing your lawn. Their love is active and shown in the many things they do for you.

5. Physical Touch: these are the huggers, the touchy-feely types who can't cross a room without having physical contact with others. They express love by giving physical contact in caring ways.

Jeff goes on to say that a person who gives love in a specific way is predisposed to receiving love in the same way. A gift giver isn't naturally going to understand your undivided attention as love. Someone who is verbal won't necessary understand a touch on the shoulder as love. Whether your character understands these love languages or not, she will *have* a love language. Investigating how your character expresses love will give you more insight into how your character might behave in certain situations, how she will instantly like (or dislike) someone else, or how there can be miscommunications.

When a character (or real person) gets upset, that's also expressed in terms of love language. You automatically know the hugger is angry with you when she doesn't give you an enthusiastic hug the moment she enters the room. The garbage and laundry pile up if an Acts of Service person is upset. Extrapolate out to villainous proportions and you have some cues for how your character will act if pushed too far.

Sometimes a character's love language is in perfect harmony with her temperament: an outgoing ESFP who is a hugger. But sometimes it'll be an unnatural fit, like the introspective INTJ who is also a hugger. This can help you create complex and interesting characters.

I'd like to add something else that doesn't appear in Jeff's book, something I learned from personal experience. Every member of my immediate family (Mom, Dad, Sister) are all Acts of Service people. When I was growing up in that house, we didn't hug or say I Love You out loud, but we never doubted that we all loved each other. We simply served each other. Then Maria came to live with us for a short time. Maria was a rare individual: a hugger AND a speaker. She'd smile, say "I Love You!" then give a huge hug. At first, it was awkward to receive this physical and verbal affection, but everyone in my family soon found that we liked it. We began speaking our love to each other in Maria's way, giving hugs, and continuing with our own acts of service. My point is this: people can learn to express love in other ways, but there's still going to be that one language that comes naturally, and that's the language that will pop up in times of stress. When I get angry with my husband, I don't respond verbally (yelling) or withhold hugs or avoid being in the same room with him. When I'm upset with him, the acts of service slow down or stop altogether. If I were maladjusted, I imagine that would escalate into acts of disservice (which could be extremely fun to play with in fiction!) but I'm happy to report that I usually respond in a more mature manner and try to work things out before the laundry piles up and the floors get sticky. But you can see how this all translates to fiction and building believable characters. 

Now go find your character profile and figure out how your character expresses love (and hate) to others and how that integrates into their personality. It might be fun to make your ISTJ (introspective and practical) character a hugger or a gift-giver (which won't be a natural fit at all).

In the next post I'll discuss self-esteem.

-Sonja

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Building Characters - Natural Attributes

Jeff Gerke's book  Plot vs. Character has some fabulous information to build believable characters, and I'm offering most of that wisdom to you, free of charge. If you want it all, you'll have to buy the book. In the last post, we discussed the physical attributes of your character. Today we'll look at the natural attributes, or those things your character was born into or with, things like gifts, talents, and background.

Family of Origin
First, think of your character's family. What kind of family is it? A person growing up in a house with seventeen kids and three generations will be different that an only child with a single parent. Consider the house: a shack, a mansion, a castle? Were the character's parents married when she was born? Did they stay married, or did they remarry and blend two households? Was the home stable and happy, or depressing and forgettable? Was there privilege or poverty, food stamps and welfare, yacht clubs and nightclubs, food kitchens (on either side of the serving tray) or church potlucks? All these things influence your character's personality.

Birth order can also play a factor. Is your character the first-born or the youngest of six? The only female in a house full of boys? If the oldest, was she responsible for caring for all those younger than her? Or was there a nanny involved? A mean baby-sitter? Was she a latch-key kid (home alone until the folks came home)?

Did your character have a parent with an exceptionally strong personality? Kids of drill sergeants grow up in a different environment than kids of hippies, and it impacts personality. Where did your character grow up? Military kids move around a lot. Farmers stay in one place. Did he grow up in the big city or in a rural community? 

Education
How well educated is your character? Grammar school or grad school? Was it a high-quality education or street smarts, Ivy league or correspondence courses? How high did your character want to go in her education? Did she get there? Did she settle for less? Did she study what she wanted to study, or did she study what she was expected to study? Also, how intelligent is your character? Measure both mental acuity and common sense when determining how smart she is. 

Gifts and Talents
What is your character good at? We all gravitate toward the things we're naturally gifted in, and so will your character. The highest goal is to join the things we're good at with the things we enjoy doing and turn them into something we can make a living at. Did your character succeed? Or is she a graceful dancer going to med school because her daddy wanted her to? Does she have a knack for fixing things? An ear for foreign languages? The uncanny ability to express thoughts verbally? A gift for teaching? A way with animals? A natural-born talent for spurring others on to virtuous works?

What does your character enjoy doing? Does she love throwing parties? Reading books all day long? Working crossword puzzles? Singing in jazz clubs? Sometimes what people are good at and what they enjoy doing are two different things. Your character may love to sing but be tone deaf. He may love kids but he ends up scaring them away. 

These are factors in your character's personality, so know them well. In the next post I'll discuss love language, one of the most meaningful sections in the book (at least, it was to me).

-Sonja

Monday, January 23, 2012

Building Characters - Physical Attributes

I'm in the process of dispensing wisdom from Jeff Gerke's book  Plot vs. Character. Today I'll continue discussing the physical attributes for your character.

Gender: This is a no-brainer, but Jeff brings up an interesting idea: what would your character be like if you switched her gender? A female bouncer at a night club or a male nanny might be fun. But chose the gender that best works for the story.

Race and Ethnicity: Use your character's race and ethnicity to add tension. Take an ENTJ character (someone who takes charge of any situation) and make her of a minority ethnicity or an enslaved people and see how her natural leadership expresses itself in her confines. Or think about cultural distinctives inherent in a race and go against stereotype (African-American rapper, Asian scientist, Hispanic cowboy). How would being Asian affect a boy who dreams of becoming a professional basketball player? Are there pressures on your character to pursue a certain line of education or work? Are there restrictions on her activities or friends or choices of mate due to her ethnic background? Think of the people groups in high school (jock, geek, band, brainiac) and how your character would react to being in one of these. Think of your character's culture. Is he a voracious Greek man? A repressed Jew? A quiet blond woman of Swedish descent who keeps to herself? Be aware of the influence these cultures may have on your character, and use them wisely.

Age: Age is both objective and subjective (the 42-year-old man who acts like a 14-year-old boy, or the 15-year-old girl who acts like a 35-year-old woman). It might be interesting to make your character the "wrong" age for the story you're telling: a Doogie Howser child prodigy or an octogenarian heading back to college. Whatever age you make your character, it's got to fit the story.

Physical Attractiveness: Not every character can be stunning. Nor should they all be hideous. Variety is important. Also remember that people are judged by their appearance, despite the adage to not do so. Attractive women find more dates than homely ones. Characters with deformities, especially in the face, may make others feel uneasy. Also keep in mind how this attractiveness or lack thereof affects the character. Is she aware of her beauty or non-beauty? Does she want to do something about it (exercise more, invest in plastic surgery, spend a fortune on clothing and makeup, etc)? The physical attributes of a person have an impact on his personality, so use that in your book.

Face, Hair, Eyes, and Complexion: Depending on ethnicity, you might not have a ton of variety here, but you need to know what your character looks like, even if you never describe her in the story. How does she wear her hair and why does she choose that style? Does she color it? Style it to match trends? Comb it once and ignore it for the rest of the day? Tie it back in a bun? Keep her temperament in mind. Someone who's practical like an ESTJ would wear a no-nonsense hairstyle, whereas an outgoing ESFP might wear her hair like she's going to party all year long. Also factor in the character's culture and whether she wants to fit into that culture. For men, consider facial hair and hair coloring. Would your character hide the gray? Wear a goatee or a soul-patch? Don't forget skin: acne scars or baby smooth, dark or light, freckles, wrinkles, age spots? These things affect how a person acts. Just ask the kid with acne all over his face. 

Clothing and Style: What look is your character going for? How does she want the world to view her? Or does she even care how others see her? How successful is she at achieving her targeted look? And don't forget the accessories: jewelry, hats, scarves, shoes, and iPods all tell the reader something about the character. What is she trying to say or achieve or make others believe by the way she dresses, why is she trying to do this, and how successful are her efforts?

Other Stuff To Consider: This is the catch-all area for things that didn't fit in the categories above. Does your character walk with a limp? Missing a limb? Birthmarks? Asymmetry in face or body? Long legs and short torso? Remember that even the slightest details can impact your character's personality.

In the next post I'll look at natural attributes, those things your character is born with.

-Sonja

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Building a Character - Physical Traits and Aptitudes

I'm in the process of dispensing wisdom from Jeff Gerke's book  Plot vs. Character. Today I'll discuss adding physical and natural attributes to your character. By now, you've chosen a core personality type from the 16 archetypes (see previous posts if you're lost). You've made copious notes. You know your base character inside and out. Now let's start adding some fun stuff. 

Jeff brings up this example: you meet two people of the same personality type. One is an old man from Taiwan and another is a teenage girl from the Bronx. You wouldn't know they were the same personality type until you hung out with them for awhile. But other things stand out about them right away: their appearance.

In real life, the first thing we notice about other people is their appearance: gender, ethnicity, age, height, build, hair, clothing, etc. These things are important in fiction, too. You might not always need to describe your character in the book, but you, the author, must know some things. Hair color might not be important, but age and gender are. Their aptitudes are also important: things like family of origin, birth order, gifts and talents, etc. These are things a person is born with that makes them a unique individual.

These physical traits and aptitudes should be used to develop a great character. Jeff offers these examples:

* a character of the ENFJ temperament (who would have a tendency to be highly organized) has a tattoo diagram on her wrist that explains something important so she'll always have it "on hand."

* an ESTP (a temperament that lends itself to spontaneity and competitiveness) wears the most fashionable clothing and is constantly getting compliments for his taste and style.

Look for ways your character's core temperament would adapt to the physical appearance and background she was born with. Find the ways that your character's temperament will express itself on the outside. For instance, the main character in my newest book is practical and shy. She'd find fashion and bling a waste of money. She wears sensible, affordable clothing that doesn't attract undo attention and will last for years. Her vehicle of choice is fuel-efficient and low-maintenance. Her hair style is practical and low-maintenance. She keeps her body in fantastic physical shape - it would be illogical to let herself get fat, as that would make it harder for her to complete her work in an efficient manner. She's an introvert and prefers to work alone, so her career choice flows from that: she's part-owner of a small bakery, where she can stay in the kitchen and bake bread all day while her business partner runs the front counter and takes care of the people-side of things.

Hopefully you can see how fun it can be to integrate even the simplest of traits into an existing core personality to come up with a unique character. I'll continue this discussion in the next post.

-Sonja

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Believable Characters, Part 19

We're finally on the last trait from the Myers-Briggs core personalities. I'm pulling most of my info from Jeff Gerke's Plot vs. Character and David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II.

The last trait is the ISFP (introvert, sensory, feeling, perceptive), or who Keirsey calls THE COMPOSER. She's loyal, committed, friendly, and reserved. Like the Performer, the Composer dislikes conflict and is all about the feelings: impulse, excitement, joy. She has a special talent for tactical artistry, working closely with color, tone, texture, aroma, and flavor. ISFPs are the musicians, chefs, and fashion designers of the world.

Composer make up about ten percent of the population, but they don't want the limelight. As introverts, they prefer being alone, but will share their artistic outcomes with others just to share the joy. They don't express themselves verbally, but in action, with tools (fabric, paintbrush, tuba), because the spoken word isn't nearly as handy as the tool. If they can't find a medium to express themselves, then they'll keep to themselves. While it looks like they are hard at work on their compositions, they are extremely impulsive. They live intensely in the here and now, with little or no planning. "Composers are seized by the act of artistic composition, as if caught up in a whirlwind," says Keirsey. They paint, sculpt, dance, and compose simply because they must. Composer seem oblivious to fatigue and pain, but it's simply that they are so absorbed and excited that they don't notice the difficulties.

The ISFP is the kindest of all the personality types, and are especially sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. Composers are also extremely competitive, especially in sports or table games, and hate to lose. Educating a Composer is difficult. They often drop out of school before finishing--they prefer experiential learning. Friendly and soft-spoken Composers seek a dutiful spouse, someone who can keep the Composer from wandering away when a tempting opportunity presents itself. When tension arises in a relationship, the Composer will put with it to keep the family intact, then quietly slink off once the children are grown.

Good career choices for the ISFP include teacher, bookkeeper, systems analyst, and firefighter. Famous ISFP's include Donald Trump, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Dan Quayle, Christopher Reeves, Fred Astaire, and Elizabeth Taylor. Fictional ISFP's include Bella Swan from Twilight, Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Rachel Greene from Friends, Harry Potter, Flounder from The LIttle Mermaid, and Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

Now that I've finished the sixteen core personality types, I'll rely more heavily on Jeff Gerke's book. In coming posts, I'll discuss character temperament, physical attributes, and love language. Stay tuned!

-Sonja

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Believable Characters, Part 18

Two more personality types to go. I found most of this information in Jeff Gerke's Plot vs. Character and David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II

Today I'm covering the ESFP (extrovert, sensory, feeling, perceiving) or who Keirsey calls THE PERFORMER. He's fun, friendly, outgoing, adaptable, and can't resist putting on a good show. He wants to stimulate everyone around him, arousing their senses, offering pleasure, and creating a feeling of well-being. With his contagious good humor and irrepressible joy of living, everyone wants to be around this guy. When he walks into the room, everyone gathers.

These guys are plentiful, making up more than ten percent of the population, which is a great thing, because they bring joy to so many. They love excitement and crave an audience, so they try to generate a sense of showtime wherever they are. "All the world's a stage" applies brilliantly to them. They love the fast life, good food, fancy cars, bling, fantasy, and merriment. Life is a party to these people. They are inclined to be impulsive and self-indulgent, making them give in easily to others. Pleasure is an end in itself, and they are open to trying almost anything that promises a good time. They rarely consider the consequences. 

They don't like confrontation or sticky situations. Their tolerance for anxiety is the lowest of all the personality types, and they will avoid it by simply ignoring it for as long as possible. "Always look on the bright side" is their motto, and if forced to endure a tense situation (at work, in a relationship) they won't make waves or put up a show of resistance. They'll simply walk away. This personality trait is ultra fun to play with in fiction because of their intense dislike of anxiety or confrontation of any kind. 

ESFP's are the most generous of all the personality types, lavishing friends and loved ones with gifts. They don't have a stingy bone in their bodies, and have no concept of savings or investing their cash. Life is to be lived right now. They are emotionally expressive and affectionate, completely unable to hide their true feelings or hold their tongue. They tend to fall in love easily, and every time is like the first time. Intent on pleasing everyone, ESFP's can appear fickle, even promiscuous, to others, when they're simply and innocently sharing themselves with others. 

Performers make exciting and entertaining mates, but cause a good deal of anxiety in these relationships. They love to spend money on fun things and will impulsively max out credit cards. They make warm, generous, loving friends to their spouse and their children, but should not be expected to take these relationships much more seriously than that. When tension arises, the Performer will quietly leave--and may not come back.

The best careers for the Performer are (duh) the performing arts, but they also find success in fundraising and retail sales. Flight attendant, photographer, teacher, and receptionist are also good fits, as they deal with people on a daily basis. They avoid solitary technical occupations in science and engineering, and couldn't stick to a schedule if their life depended on it. Famous ESFP's include Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, Elvis Presley, Bob Hope, and Marilyn Monroe. Fictional ESFP's include Homer Simpson, Tim "The Toolman" Taylor from Home Improvement, and Kelly Bundy from Married with Children.

-Sonja

Monday, January 9, 2012

Believable Characters, Part 17

We're down to the last three personality types. I found most of this information in Jeff Gerke's Plot vs. Character and David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II

The personality type on today's docket is the ISTP, or introverted, sensory, thinking, perceiving. Keirsey calls her THE CRAFTER. Others call her "the Realist." But no matter what you call her, she's patient, data-oriented, logical, efficient, and tolerant. She's best with a tool: microscopic drill, supersonic jet, giant crane, scalpel, any piece of equipment that she can play with. ISTP's enjoy spontaneity, follow their own drummer, and should not be subject to rules, regulations, or laws. Hierarchy and authority are unnecessary and irksome to the crafter, as they get in the way. The ISTP must be free to do her own thing, when the urge strikes, without a schedule bothering them.

Crafter's seek recreation on impulse, taking days off just because they feel like it. These urges to take off can be irresistible and overpowering, and no one had better try to stop them. They are fearless in their play, risking themselves for the joy of the moment. They are bored easily. They communicate through action, and can't be bothered to develop verbal skills--and this lack of expressiveness makes them seem like loners. They're happy hanging out with their tools. They are hard to get to know, although they are fiercely loyal to those few people they are close to, but their inability to be tied to a schedule makes them unreliable when it comes to activity commitments: they might show up, they might not. Crafter's can treat their spouses like royalty and lavish them with beautiful gifts, then take off with friends for an unplanned week or two in the sun without bothering to notify their significant other. Crafters need their freedom to seek adventure, and mates who wish to keep them happy are wise to give them an extremely long leash.

ISTP's make up about ten percent of the total population (which is kind of scary, to an ISTJ like me) so you can put plenty of these people in your novel. In fact, if your protagonist is a SUPERVISOR or an INSPECTOR, he'll be driven up the wall, repeatedly, by the CRAFTER. Talk about tension. ISTP's make good software developers, systems analysts, and computer repair people, where they can set their own schedules and don't have to communicate a lot. They also make good firefighters or purchasing agents. 

Famous ISTP's include Charles Bronson, Tom Cruise, Clint Eastwood, James Dean, Burt Reynolds, and Keith Richards. Fictional ISTP's include Boba Fett and Han Solo from Star Wars, Wolverine from X-Men, and Butch Coolidge from Pulp Fiction.

Only two more to go! Hang in there.

-Sonja

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Believable Characters, Part 16

We only have four more personality type to look at before we move on to the second step in creating believable characters. As before, I found most of this information in Jeff Gerke's Plot vs. Character and David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II

Today's personality type is the INTP, or introverted, intuitive, thinking, perceptive. Keirsey calls him THE ARCHITECT. This guy is logical, theoretical, quiet, analytical, and critical. He not only designs buildings, he's the architect of corporations and theoretical systems. He's the master organizer of organizations. In his mind, the world exists to be analyzed, understood, and explained. He may venture so deeply into thought that he seems detached, and is often oblivious to the world around him.

INTP's are extremely rare, making up one percent of the total population. They won't be found in ordinary places, and they are rarely recognized, but they are easy-going and amenable. They prefer to stay in the background and not make a scene, but if someone violates their principles, they will become outspoken and inflexible. They tend to be shy, and are often seen as difficult to get to know. They do make loyal mates, although preoccupied much of the time and somewhat forgetful of appointments and important dates (like anniversaries). They won't want to entertain at home, but will follow their spouse to a planned social event. They'd prefer retreating to the world of books, emerging only when physical needs become imperative. They keep their desires and emotions to themselves, and may seen insensitive to the desires and emotions of others.

The Architect loves mathematics, languages, computers, and any other complex system. They thrive on logic and logical correctness, and can become obsessed with analysis. Word games (Scrabble) and strategy games (Risk, Chess) also attract their attention. They don't put up with nonsense, and can spot an inconsistency easily. They'll always point out these types of errors, making conversation with an INTP a little uncomfortable. 

If you put an INTP in your fiction, put him in a room full of comedians and Elvis impersonators and watch the tension escalate!

INTP's make excellent professors, mathematicians, linguists, or economists. They'd be horrible at clerical jobs, as Architects are impatient with routine details. They prefer to work quietly, without interruption, and alone. Famous INTP's include Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Socrates, Carl Jung, and Abraham Lincoln. Fictional INTP's include Data and Seven of Nine from Star Trek.

-Sonja

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Believable Characters, Part 15

Once more, let's look at building believable characters using the good stuff found in Jeff Gerke's Plot vs. Character and David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II

Today's personality is the ENTP (extrovert, intuitive, thinking, perceiving), or who Keirsey call's THE INVENTOR. This dude is ingenious, outspoken, easily bored by routine, clever, and change-oriented. He's the guy that can build the prototype of a device to make systems more efficient. He creates gadgets and mechanisms for the rest of the world. He started when he was a kid, and gets such a kick out of it he never quit. 

These guys are rare, making up only two percent of our population, so use them sparingly in your fiction. They are intensely curious and probe all the possibilities. The harder the problem, the more they love it. Chaos theory is pure joy to these guys. Tradition, or "the way we always do it" means nothing to the ENTP's of the world. They're always looking for a better way of doing things, new procedures, new activities, new projects. Ideas are valuable only when they make possible actions and objects. "It can't be done" is a challenge that must be met with "I can do it." 

Because of their confidence in their own ability to solve any problem, Inventor's often jump into a task without preparing adequately. They're quick, both verbally and cerebrally, and love to argue, playing devil's advocate sometimes just to confuse those around them. They avoid routine, which causes restlessness. They are basically optimists, but setbacks and inconveniences will tick them off. They have little patience with those they consider unintelligent, and aren't afraid to say that out loud.

In relationships, the Inventor is capable of a close bond but will choose carefully those select few who are worthy of this devotion. They are quick to spot kindred spirits, but are oblivious to the rest of society except as an audience. It can be difficult to get this guy's attention if he's not immediately aware of you. To get his attention, present him with a problem. In conversation, be straight forward. No games (he'll win), no pulling rank (he'll put you in your place), and no apologies (he'll dismiss you as unworthy). 

Worthy career choices for the ENTP include computer science, financial advising, systems designer, computer analyst, and strategic planner. You won't find a happy ENTP on an assembly line or working as a bookkeeper. Famous ENTP's include Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Alexander the Great, and Weird Al Yankovick. Fiction ENTP's include Chandler Bing from Friends, "Q" from Star Trek, Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, and Garfield the Cat.

-Sonja

Monday, January 2, 2012

Believable Characters, Part 14

Today we continue this lengthy look at building believable characters using the good stuff found in Jeff Gerke's Plot vs. Character and David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II

Keirsey calls the ESFJ (extroverted, sensory, feeling, judgment) THE PROVIDER. I've also seen this person described as "the Supporter" or "the Enthusiast." Whatever you call her, she's nurturing, loyal, harmonious, and collaborative. She makes certain that everyone around her has the necessities of life. She's eager to serve, arranging for the physical health and welfare of those in need. She's extremely sociable. She wants traditions upheld, social functions to succeed, and for everyone to be healthy and happy. She's the woman who feels the uncontrollable urge to feed everyone who comes anywhere near her house (which is kept immaculate but cozy, not museum-like).

Providers make up more than ten percent of the population, so they can show up frequently in your novel. They are tireless in organizing goods/services, and make excellent chairpersons for banquets, rummage sales, and charity balls. They are the best hosts/hostesses, aware of all their guests names, what everyone's doing, and what everyone needs. They are personable and talkative, and go bonkers when left alone for too long. The best way to cause this character stress is to lock her in solitary confinement for a couple of days. Even among strangers, the ESFJ will strike up a conversation with anyone nearby, about any topic. They are delighted with gossip. If your protagonist needs to know what's going on in any given neighborhood, have him seek out the Provider and she'll happy divulge that information, free of charge--and she'll provide coffee cake or a sandwich. 

The ESFJ has observable things on her mind, as opposed to imaginary or abstract issues. She's much more concerned with people's lives than with theology or sociology. Sometimes she can come across as pessimistic when she turns nostalgic, recounting past experiences in the good old days, but most of the time, she's upbeat and highly sensitive to those around her. She loves to talk about her emotions. She's quick to like and dislike, idolizing those she admires. Anyone who disagrees with her, or does something she disapproves of, goes on her hate list. Personal criticism will crush the Provider, as she highly values the opinions of others, especially in regards to her own behavior. 

Providers lean toward service occupations: flight attendant, teacher, clergy, nurse. They are visibly and honestly concerned with their customer's welfare, so used-car salesman isn't a good fit. They respect their supervisors, do their duties with diligence, and respect and obey all rules. They are exceptionally loyal, especially to family. To throw a wrench into the Provider's life, give her a mate that steps out on her, or is extremely independent (doesn't *need* her, per se), or refuses to share his emotions with her.

Famous ESFJ's include Don Knotts, Sally Struthers, and Mary Tyler Moore. Fictional ESFJ's include Monica from Friends, Rabbit from Winnie-the-Pooh, and Leonard McCoy from Star Trek.

-Sonja